Burn it Down

As the year comes to an end it would be easy to look back and see all of the things that didn’t work. Mistakes were made, endeavors failed, and it was generally a tough year. Some things that I thought would work out did not, and some things I thought I had more time before I had to deal with came due. Sometimes, when things aren’t working out, it’s best to burn it all to the ground and start over.

When I look closer, sifting through the ash, I find bits that survived. There are pieces of my life that are working, and that have not been getting the attention they deserved. I dreamed for years of starting my own business, being self-employed and working from home. The truth is, this is not the right time in my life for that. What my family needs is stability. The 9-5 works for us. Spending my weekends programming or studying for grad school does not. Farmdog had to go, so it was burned to the ground. What does work for me is writing. I’ve been very happy as a freelance writer, but I’ve been so distracted by competing goals that I’ve not given the endeavor the attention that it needs. Freelance writing after the kids are in bed works for us too.

For Christmas this year we got the boys some toy guns, and we had a great time battling it out throughout the house. We had a wonderful dinner with ham and corn and mashed potatoes, and spent a lot of quality time together. This worked, more than anything, spending time with the family works. I spent a long time over the past several weeks reassessing where I should go next in my professional life, but what I came up with is that where I am right now is where I need to be, and by focusing on what really matters, I can make where I am better than ever.

Sometimes you can see farmers burn their fields, so the nutrients in the crops will absorb back into the soil, making the next batch of crops stronger than before.