Lifting the Fog

To say that 2025 has been a hectic year would be an understatement. Even in my personal corner of the world, my work life has been chaotic, far more than I would have liked. I’ve lost one team member, brought on a new one, weathered changes and challenges at the company level, and overall become far more reactive than proactive than I’d like. Feels like I’ve been trying to steer a ship through the fog, with only the dimmest lighthouse to guide the way.

Part of that is my own confusion about where I wanted my professional life to go. Since being promoted from Staff Engineer to Engineering Manager (and seeing my old team dismantled and handed over to foreign contractors) I’ve been unsure about how much time I wanted to dedicated to maintaining my technical skills. Not only that, but the additional uncertainty present with the proliferation of AI tools and massive layoffs in tech has also caused me to question my place in the industry for the next part of my career.

Am I still an engineer? Was I ever? Am I now just a manager?

I think the answer for the foreseeable future is going to be both… and more.

I’ve been what I would describe as a competent programmer. My history with Objective-C, and experience with Python and other languages along the way has given me a good foundation for understanding the concepts and syntax needed to build applications. However, most of my professional experience has been focused on scripting and DevOps-centric tasks. Building pipelines, setting up system automations, etc… From time to time I’ve dabbled in other languages, but I haven’t gone all in on any of them. I’d like to change that. One of the things I’m going to focus on in the new year is learning Rust. I’m not one for making resolutions, instead I create yearly themes, with a few ideal outcomes for the year. I’m not “resolving” to learn Rust this year, but I am focusing on it as part of my overall theme.

As a sysadmin, and later a DevOps engineer, I’ve always focused on deep technical expertise. That meant understanding filesystems at the kernel level, tracing TCP packets through the system, and occasionally spelunking through the Linux kernel source code. Over the past few years of cloud automation though, a lot of that has fallen to the wayside to make way for learning the AWS APIs. I’ve missed the low-level operating system work. I haven’t had to manage a RAID array in nearly 10 years, nor have I had to track down why a deleted file still has an open handle. However, I do now have an opportunity to dig back into some hard low-level problems, and I’m looking forward to seeing what new skills I can learn.

Taking on a management role has been one of the most challenging things I’ve done in my career. Not because of my plans for where I’d like the systems we’re responsible for to go, but because of all the other interpersonal tasks that are now my responsibility. Last year I hired the first person on my team, and this year I had to a let a person on my team go. Both decisions were difficult, and the second took far longer than it should have. That was a lesson learned, one that cost me months of productivity. There are other management tasks that are difficult, like deciding on metrics to gather, how to build reports that are worthwhile, and how best to accurately reflect the value of our team. Management has a lot of abstractions, time-consuming tasks that attempt to convey an idea, either to my team, to my boss, or to the rest of the company. Difficult, but interesting.

Thinking through these aspects of my career informs my position on AI. I’ve gotten to where I am by prioritizing expertise, technical knowledge, quick learning, and being able to get things done. What I’ve noticed using AI occasionally over the past couple years is that it makes me intellectually lazy. When faced with a difficult problem, my first impulse isn’t to dig into the problem and discern a solution, it’s to hand the problem over to AI and see what it has to say. This unhealthy habit undermines the very thing my career has been built on, thinking clearly. When I offload a task to AI I’m offloading my own thinking, and that’s something I just can’t do. On top of that, AI has very real environmental problems and a questionable financial future, at least in its current form. I understand the usefulness of AI for many tasks, but for me, personally, I can’t risk my career on outsourcing my brain.

So, that’s 800 words or so on why I’m thinking my next yearly theme should be “The Year of Thinking Clearly”. My focus will be on building my expertise, communicating effectively, and, as an essential part of having a clear head, building and maintaining a consistent and challenging exercise program. Healthy body, healthy mind. I’m looking forward to 2026, I think it could be one of my best years ever.