The Experiment
Ideas, Stress, and Time
I remember someone saying once that ideas were worthless, and
onlyimplementation mattered. I disagree. Ideas have power, and depending
on whoyou are, that power can be used to either create, or destroy. Or,
in my case,both. When I get an idea, the drive to make that idea become
reality canconsume me. I may do nothing about it for days, weeks, or
even months, andthen, seemingly suddenly, put all of my time and energy
into it in one bigexplosion. During the time leading up to the creation
phase, I’m thinking. Atnight while I drift off to sleep, during the day
when there is a lull in mywork flow, during all the little times that
something else is not occupying mycognitive functions, I’m thinking
about my idea. I consider the idea, I pokeit and prod it from as many
different angles as I can until I get to a pointwhere I know how to make
it real. Or, at least as real as my limited knowledgebase can
facilitate.
My problem with the thinking/creating loop is that what I’m thinking
about andwhat I’m creating may not be what’s best for me at the time.
The offsetbetween what I should be thinking about and what I actually
am thinkingabout creates unnecessary stress in my life, and makes it
harder toconcentrate on things that I need to be concentrating on, when
I need to beconcentrating on them. Having an idea that may lead to the
accomplishment of alife-long goal is a wonderful thing, if the idea
comes at a time when a personcan actually act on it without neglecting
other commitments. Unfortunately,that is not the situation that I find
myself in now.
Masters
Last Fall I enrolled in the Masters of Human-Computer Interaction
program atIowa State University. When I finish this semester I’m in the
middle of rightnow, I’ll be at the half-way point. The program is
entirely online, so I cancontinue to work at my day job as a systems
administrator while I work atnight on my assignments. The course load is
more than I was expecting, and thecourse work takes far more time than I
thought I would need. I spend severalhours on the weekends, and several
nights each week studying. Some classeshave been a lot of fun, others
have felt like pushing a bolder up a hill. I’mlucky enough right now to
have two classes that I’m enjoying, one onprogramming in Python, and
another on the fundamentals of design.
My hope for the Masters degree is that it will lead to exciting
newopportunities in the future. Something that my experience as a
systemsadministrator alone would not. While I enjoy my work, I feel like
I could domore, and I do not feel like it is ultimately going to fulfill
that life-longgoal I was referring to above.
So, I work during the day, and I go to school at night. In between times
I trymy best to be a good husband and father to my family. We have four
kids, andthey all need time with Dad. So, we do stuff, fishing,
roller-coasters, bikerides, cooking… lots of stuff. Stuff that, really,
is more important thananything else. The kind of stuff that gives me a
reason to get up in themorning.
My obligations to my family are clear, as are my obligations to my
employer,as well as my obligations to Iowa State. However, grad school
was not the onlything I started last Fall. I also started
FarmdogSoftware.
Farmdog
Everyone is busy, everyone has obligations, and no one is going to think
thatI’ve taken on too much, especially those who have started successful
softwarecompanies. What I’ve told myself for the past nine months is to
just suck itup and keep working. Long after everyone else is asleep,
I’ve stayed up tokeep working on Go2 and Farmdog. Unfortunately, as Dan
Benjamin recently saidon Back to Work, you
can’t start a successfulbusiness part time. It needs your full
attention, you need to be committed toit.
Farmdog Software has been my dream for a long time. Since first working
withmy mentor back in England, and learning how he started a successful
consultingbusiness, I’ve wanted to work for myself. I’ve been dreaming
of working out ofmy home for twelve years, and my hope with Farmdog was
that it would be thecatalyst that would finally help me achieve that
dream. It has not. It isentirely my fault. I see where I’ve made
mistakes, and how my timing wascompletely off. Underestimating how much
time it would take to run thebusiness, and how much time it would take
to go to grad school has left me mestressed, unhappy, and drained. My
family, my boss, and I all deserve betterthan that.
Being stretched this thin caused the quality of my work to go down. The
mostrecent build of Go2, 1.3, has glaring bugs that make it unusable for
me. WhileI love my beta testers, and seriously can not thank them enough
for findingthe faults in Go2, I can not, in good conscience, release 1.3
as it is. Itneeds a major reworking, and some serious thought into its
direction and whatit does. I still use it every day at work to launch
SSH sessions, which iswhat I built it for, but I need to think through
what the best direction of itas a product is. It needs the kind of
thought that I just don’t have theability to give it right now.
So, Go2 1.3 is not going to be submitted to the App Store. Farmdog
Software isgoing on hiatus until I finish Grad School next year.
Farmdog has been an experiment of sorts, I wanted to see if I could do
it, ifI could become an “indie developer”. I accomplished what I set out
to do, butnot well, and not with the kind of dedication the endeavor
deserved. As anexperiment, we will call Farmdog a success, and a proof
of concept that, giventhe appropriate time and attention, Farmdog can
lead to accomplishing my goal.However, right now is not the time. Right
now is the time to concentrate onfinishing my Masters degree.
The Future
I have many ideas for apps, many that I’d love to start building right
now,but they are going to have to wait. While Farmdog is going on
hiatus, it isnot being abandoned. When I finish my Masters degree, I
am going to returnto Cocoa with everything I can muster. I am going to
leave Go2 in the AppStore, it generates one or two sales a week, and if
people find it useful Isee no reason not to let them have it. So far
support has not been an issue,but if it becomes one I’ll pull it.
Farmdog is going to stay alive, simply ina holding pattern until I
return.
I want to make clear how much I appreciate everyone who’s helped beta
testGo2, and how much I appreciate the (very few) customers I’ve been
lucky enoughto have. If you are one of the awesome few who’ve purchased
Go2, I seriouslycan not thank you enough. You’ve helped make the
experiment a success, andgiven me a direction for the future. If Go2 had
not sold at all, or if it hadbeen given a bunch of negative reviews, I
probably would have decided myfuture lay elsewhere.
For the CocoaHeads in Des Moines (and in Cupertino), thank you as well.
It’sgreat to know that there’s a group of people in the area who are
willing tohelp, and to share what they’ve learned.
As I write this, I feel relieved, but the real burden was lifted as soon
as Imade the decision two days ago. As much as I like to think that I’m
superman,I really have only a limited set of abilities, and something
had to go.